Friday, September 20, 2019
Battle of Breitenfeld Essay -- essays research papers fc
It is said that the Romans owed the conquest of the world to no other cause than continual military training, exact observance of discipline in their camps and unwearied cultivation of the arts of war. The historical references of their battles will prove time and again that this statement has validity. How could such an Army rise to the power that was Rome in all its glory while being outnumbered on almost every battlefield? In an attempt to explore this question, one must delve into the foundation of the early Roman army and follow it through the five hundred year reign of power as the city-state rose to an empire (Preston.pg.29) The process by which Rome developed from a small military outpost on a river-crossing to become the dominant power of the Italian Peninsula was by no means swift or continuous. It took the better part of five centuries and during that time Rome itself was twice occupied by foreign powers (Warry. Pg.108). As the strength of Etrurua diminished, Rome asserted its authority over both the Etruscans and the Latins, but at the beginning of the fourth century B.C. the city was overwhelmed, after the disastrous battle of the Allia, by a vast horde of Gallic raiders (Contamine. pg.9). The Romans retreated into their citadel on the Capitoline Mount where they eventually fought off the Gauls, whose immediate interest was in pillaging for anything of worth and not in the land (Dersin.pg.8). Roman history records that the great Camillus, Romeââ¬â¢s exiled war leader, was recalled to speed the parting Gauls with military action, but this tries to hide the fact that the Gauls departed of their ow n accord, having obtained what they wanted. Roman military history is checkered by catastrophes that few great empires could have sustained during the period of their growth. Nobody would deny that the Romans were a formidable military nation; yet the genius which enabled them eventually to dominate the ancient world was as much political as military. Their great political instrument of choice was the concept of citizenship. Citizenship was not simply a status which one did or did not possess. It was and aggregate of right, duties, and honors, which could be acquired separately and conferred by installments (Boatwright.pg.25). Such were the rights of making legal contracts and marriages. From both of these the right to a political vote was not separable; no... ...rise to power, no single people dominated all or even most of that world. Military force and tactics that adapted over time and between enemies were large factors in Romeââ¬â¢s eventual dominance over the entire region, and credit must be given to the resiliency of the Romans in the face of victories and defeats along the way. Works Cited Preston, Richard; Roland, Alex; Wise Sydney. Men In Arms. (Ohio: Thompson Wadsworth, 2005) Warry, John. Warfare in the Classical World. (London: Oklahoma University and Salamander Books Ltd, 1995) Boatwright, Mary; Gargola, Daniel; Talbert, Richard. The Romans From Village to Empire. (New York: Oxford University Press, 2004) Grant, Michael. The Fall Of The Roman Empire. (New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1990) Nardo, Don. The Rise Of the Roman Empire. (California: Greenhaven Press, 2002) Contamine, Phillip. War in the Middle Ages. (Massachusetts: Blackwell Publishing, 1999) Dersin, Denise. What Life Was Like When Rome Ruled the World. (Virginia: Time Life Books, 1997) Harris, Nathaniel. History of Ancient Rome. (London: Octopus Publishing, 2000) Roberts, Timothy. Ancient Rome. (New York: Friedman/Fairfax
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Death and Dylan Thomas Essay -- Literary Analysis
Dylan Thomas, a famous 20th century poet from Wales once said that poetry is ââ¬Å"the rhythmic, inevitably narrative, movement from an over clothed blindness to a naked visionâ⬠and that it ââ¬Å"must drag further into the clear nakedness of lightâ⬠(ââ¬Å"Dylan Marlais Thomasâ⬠189). Though his poetry, Thomas often sought to reveal aspects of life that are often overlooked in order to reveal important truths about them. Like many authors, his experiences influenced his writing and revealed many important themes such as the ââ¬Å"celebration of the divine purpose that he saw in all human and natural processesâ⬠(ââ¬Å"Dylan Marlais Thomasâ⬠189). Growing up and living during the times of the bombings of London and the massive death tolls of World War II, Thomasââ¬â¢ poetry depicts a war torn society, which contributes to his themes dealing with death- the inevitability of death and the acceptance of death as part of the cycle of nature. In Thomasââ¬â¢ poem ââ¬Å"Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night,â⬠a child urges his dying father to ââ¬Å"rage, rage against the dying of lightâ⬠(3). This poem acts as a reflection of Thomasââ¬â¢ own feelings towards the death of his own father from cancer. This poem reflects Thomasââ¬â¢ own ââ¬Å"raging against and rejoicing in both the limits and possibilities of all human formsâ⬠as well as a ââ¬Å"vivid declaration of love and fearâ⬠(Persoon 2). Although many people wish for their relatives to die in peace, this son wishes his father to fight off the evilness of death and fight toward the light showing the paradoxical nature of the poem. For example, the speaker says ââ¬Å"dark is rightâ⬠(4), ââ¬Å"blinding sightâ⬠(13), and ââ¬Å"curse, bless, me nowâ⬠(17). All of these phrases contribute to the paradoxical nature of the poem and reveal the overall sentiment that although deat... ... to mourn the death, by fire, of a child in London,â⬠and ââ¬Å"Ceremony After A Fire Raid,â⬠Dylan Thomas sought to describe the realities he faced such as death and shed light onto the acceptance of death as a part of the cycle of nature. His poems catch the ââ¬Å"imagination and the spirit [and] understanding of the people who endured the Depression and World War IIâ⬠and embody a ââ¬Å"fearlessâ⬠¦search for reality and a limited hope in a world bereft of its traditional theological certaintiesâ⬠(Knepper 3838). In a world where many people fear death and the consequences that death presents, we must accept it as part of the cycle of nature and realize that we can try to fight death, but in the end, death is inevitable. Mankind must remember that ââ¬Å"human beings will die in many ways and placesâ⬠but in the end, ââ¬Å"their bodies will return to the elements and be scatteredâ⬠(Knepper 3839).
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
A Comparison of A Streetcar Named Desire and The Master Builder Essay
The Comedy and Tragedy of A Streetcar Named Desire and The Master Builder It has been said that the world is a comedy to those that think, and a tragedy to those who feel. This philosophy is supported by two important literary works, A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams and The Master Builder by Henrik Ibsen. In each piece, the sensitive and emotional characters experience tremendous pain, while the cold and unfeeling characters are simply amused by the pain of others. In A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams shows two characters who have very different experiences of the world. For Stanley Kowalski, the world is a comedy. He constantly causes pain to others, especially Blanche, and then laughs at her pain. For example, he hands Blanche a ticket to Laurel as a birthday present, kicking her out of the house. To Stanley this very cruel and insensitive gesture is amusing, but to Blanche it is a hurtful token of rejection. Blanche is a character who experiences the tragedy of the world, as events affect her deeply. For instance, she can not understand how her sister, Stella, can put up with the abuse that Stanley inflicts upon her. Blanche is very concerned about her sister and becomes extremely dismayed when Stanley hits her. This shows the sensitivity of Blanche's character that leads to her tragedy. Tennessee Williams uses several literary elements to reveal how characters respond differently to the world. The characterization of Blanche and Stanley is essential, as Stanley is depicted as an insensitive, brutal creature who has no regard for others' emotions. Therefore, he feels no regret as he destroys the relationship between Blanche and Mitch.&n... ...ive without a conscience-- allows her to gain control of Solness, playing on his weaknesses. The irony of this situation is that the "great master builder" is actually a sensitive man who experiences his demise at the hands of a young girl. The tragedy that occurs in the final scene when Solness falls from the tower is seen as a comedy for Hilda, who continues to cheer for her own success. These two works, A Streetcar Named Desire and The Master Builder, illustrate how life can be looked upon differently by characters who possess a deep and sensitive heart and those who lack human feelings. As revealed in the two plays, those who feel things deeply tend to be affected by pain and tragedy in their lives, while those who do not possess sympathetic emotions tend to be amused by the pain of others, often contributing to the tragedy experienced by those who feel.
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Strategic Management: Strategic Directions Folloed by Virgin Atlantic
Contents 1)Executive Summary 2)Introduction of Company 3)External Environment 4)Company Financial Performance 5)Competitive Strategy 6)Strategic Direction of Development 7)Methods of Development 8)Conclusions and Recommendations 9)Resources 10)Appendices 1)Executive Summary This report aims to evaluate the current strategic directions followed by Virgin Atlantic. Initially we discuss the organisationââ¬â¢s mission statement and identify how the vision of the company is reflected though the strategic objectives. It is established at CSR plays an important role one Virgin Atlantic as it is seen to have principles and high standards on acceptable behaviour, BBC News (2009). External factors are evaluated using a PESTLE analysis and it is made clear that the Airline Industy as a whole is suffering financially in the economic turndown. With the well publicised fear of global warming and the level of emissions airlines are giving off is resulting in the government putting pressure on Virgin Atlantic and others to find ways of reducing their C02 output by increasing fuel costs, Virgin Atlantic (2009). Social trends are examined to determine the appeal of air travel and why consumers continue to fly with luxury airlines like Virgin Atlantic over smaller no frills airlines. The financial performance of Virgin Atlantic is analysed over a 5 year period looking at key ratios to determine the sales and profitability of the organisation. These results are compared to British Airways financial figures as well as Ryanairââ¬â¢s to get a better understanding of how financially secure Virgin Airline is financially in comparison to its competitors. An analysis is then conducted of the organisations competitive strategy which identifies, using Porters 5 Forces, that Virgin Atlantic fall under ââ¬Ëdifferentiation focus strategyââ¬â¢ as they offer premium priced products for a high quality service. Results from Ansoffââ¬â¢s growth vector determine the strategic direction of the Airlines development. The airlineââ¬â¢s growth remains competitive through demand in existing markets with existing products as well as newly developed ones. The methods of development are identified as code-sharing agreements between different airlines, allowing them to make use of each otherââ¬â¢s resources at minimum costs. It was concluded that, due to the success of Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s current 3 year strategic direction, the airline should extend this strategy. Other strategic concepts where recommended regarding the fight for climate change and they way in which the airline positions itself through branding. 2)Introduction to Company Virgin Atlantic was launched by founder Richard Branson on the 22nd June 1984 Virgin Airline (2009). . 1. The vision of the airline was to offer high quality services combined with good value for money. Working in Music industry for many years Branson himself knew little about the aviation industry therefore he used the advice of his partner, Freddie Fields to manage the venture along with his technical manager Roy Gardner Management Today (1998). As a result of working in the Music Industry Bra nson was all too familiar with celebrity obsessed culture and thus he packed the first flight was between London and Newark Liberty with some well known celebrities. Virgin Atlantic credit the use of the famous faces seen travelling on the inaugural fight as one of the factors of success in launching the airline, Virgin Atlantic (2009). 2. 2. Virgin Atlantic employs a three year strategy which thus far has proved successful. The success has been down to their sound business model which is defined by their Mission Statement: ââ¬Å"To Grow a profitable airline, where people love to fly and people love to work. â⬠Virgin Atlantic (2009) Low cost airlines offer a typically narrow service where as Virgin Atlantic, through their code-sharing agreements; position themselves as offering a broad range of exotic destinations for people who are willing to pay premium prices. This business model has the key understanding that the way in which the product is positioned and the experience provided travelling by virgin Atlantic, will ensure customers will travel again and again thus allowing them to achieve their long-term strategic objectives of increasing profits and shareholder values. 2. One of the key factors in the business model is ââ¬Ëhowââ¬â¢ Virgin Atlantic provide a unique flying experience, virgin maintain this positive feeling with the friendly flight attendants and the positive attitudes they show customers. The airline ensures the happiness of staff with fair wage, discounts on fairs as well as loyalty schemes. The most public display of loyalty towards staff was in 2009 when Virgin Atlantic employees were given 2 free flights to any of the airlines destinations as part of the 25th anniversary of Virgin Atlantic Daily Mail (2009). This generosity towards the staff has the same principles applied by its airline services, the idea of luxury onboard the aircrafts and the knowledge that you will be taken care of. 2. 4. Thomson and Martin (2005) believe that customers play a key part in an organisations business model as they are ones who the services are specifically tailored to. In the 80ââ¬â¢s when Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s vision was launched, the glamour of air travel had distinguished and air travel was seen as an expensive means of getting from a to b. People had forgotten what air travel was all about, and the ideal of jet setting across the world in luxury was seen available only to those who where famous. The vision introduced encouraged people to pay more but have better value for money and made the whole air travel experience pleasurable. Virgins Growth is testimite to how effective the initial vision of the company was and shows that their mission today is exactly what customers are looking for in a service provider. 2. 5. Corporate Social Responsibility also takes a key stance in Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s business model. The companyââ¬â¢s strong stance in responsible business is heavily publicised by the media, especially when it comes to environmental factors. Richard Branson has publicly pledged to invest profits of his travel organisations into the research and development of alternative fuel and renewable energy Mallen Baker (2006). ââ¬Å"Virgin Atlantic is committed to reducing our environmental impacts where we can by becoming a more efficient business, leading the industry to practical and technical solutions and engaging, inspiring and empowering our staff and customers to help us meet this challengeâ⬠Virgin Atlantic (2009). . 6. The airline was also the first of its kind to trial an alternative fuel which was created from a combination of coconuts and Brazilian Babassu nuts, BBC News 2008. Virgin Airline also have strong policies on equality and avoiding discrimination, this was pushed into the media when 13 of the airlines staff where sacked after describing the passengers as â⠬Ëchavsââ¬â¢ on the social networking site Facebook, a spokesperson for the airline stated ââ¬Å"It is impossible for these cabin crew members to uphold [our] high standards of customer serviceâ⬠¦ f they hold these views. â⬠BBC News 2008. This very public stance on social responsibility, especially when it comes to environmental factors, enforces the public interest that Virgin Atlantic employ especially when it comes to decision making and setting their strategic objectives. Reidenbach and Robin (1995) have produced a spectrum of 5 ethical/unethical responses and I believe that Virgin Airline would fall under Ethically Engaged and, ââ¬Å"Actively want to do ââ¬Ëthe right thingââ¬â¢ and be seen doing soâ⬠The companies mission states that they want to be a profitable airline & their CSR stance assures the consumers that Virgin Atlantic have principles and although they want to be a profitable airline they will not achieve this strategic objective expense of the planet and the people who inhabit it. 3)External Factors There are a number of external factors which can affect not only the environmental stability of Virgin Atlantic but the attractiveness of the airline industry as a whole. Such factors can be determined by conducting a PESTLE Analysis, a PESTLE Analysis is a business model designed by looks at 6 different factors (Political, Economic, Social, Technological, Legal & Ethical Issues) and aims to evaluate the impact these factors will have on the Organisation. 3. 1. Political &Legal Factors The main political factors which affect the airline industries stability and attractiveness is the current tax policy employed by the government. Due to the rapid decrease of sustainable fuels and with concerns of global warming stronger than ever the Conservative party plan to increase the Air Passenger Duty (APD) up to 113% by November 2010 if they win at the election, Virgin Airline (2009). This will mean an increase in fares thus affecting the attractiveness of the air travel & may have significant impacts on Virgin Airlines profits. Interest rates set by the government may affect any loans that the Airline have taken out. The exchange rates on currency may also provide issues when the company need to trade currency for customers on board an aircraft moving between the uk and America etc. Legal factors which may affect the attractiveness of the airline industry would be legislation on health & safely, wages and airline regulations in terms of training and quality standards. Code-sharing agreements, which we have established plays a key role in the success and growth or Virgin Atlantic, may be put in to jeopardy if there is conflict between countries which could potential affect the air space in which Virgin Atlantic travels. It would be important for the company to have alternative routes put in place allowing them to still get to their chartered destinations in case this type of situation were to occur. Starting in 2012, the EU union will require all airlines to hold emission permits in order to operate; this was designed as a means of reducing the production of greenhouse gases. This is something which will effect Virgin Atlantic & they will have to do research into the costs of the permits & analysis how this will affect the company financially. 3. 2. Economic Factors The economic factors affecting the airline industry as a whole would be mainly the current economy. With less disposable income the demand for travel has fallen The Times (2009), and the airline may to look at competing with low budget airlines in 2010. The business side of air travel is the most expensive to run and has been affected the worst with the rises in fuel costs Mintel Report (2007). Branson has stated publically that the airline would no doubt overcome the recession but that the first class aspect of air travel would dwindle, Daily Mail (2009). The financial information reported, which will be addressed in the next section ââ¬ËCompany Financial Performanceââ¬â¢ , indicates that Bransonââ¬â¢s prediction is correct and that that Virgin Airline will remain stable despite the current recession. This is one such scenario which Virgin Atlantic must address and research in order to determine the environmental stability of the organisation and the ability for it to achieve the 3 year strategy in place. As a result of the recession, Virgin let go off 7% of all employees in 2009 and may have to consider the possibility of letting more go in 2010. The airline is not alone as their main competitor British Airways let 4000 jobs go, Daily Mail (2009). 3. 3. Social Factors & Ethical Issues The main social trend which could impact the airline industries attractiveness would be attitudes and emphasis on safety. After the terrorist attacks in September 2001, the thought if flying was unbearable to most. There is still the threat of terrorism and thus itââ¬â¢s no surprise that many individuals are still concerned about their safety when flying. Virgin Atlantic would have to make sure that they have procedures in place to deal with such situations and ease any concerns individuals have about flying. They have set up a course for those individuals who have a fear of flying which takes place in Local Airports Virgin Atlantic (2010). As previously stated there is an obsession with the celebrity culture and the ideal of traveling to exotic locations in luxury, going into the next decade it is important that this trend of social status remains important and ââ¬Ëpopularââ¬â¢ as this is the brand image which Virgin Atlantic is associated with. If this social factor was to change it would severely impact the attractiveness of the airline industry and subsequently the demand for Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s services would be affected. The main ethical issue which is affecting the attractiveness of the airline industry is the emissions let of by the aircrafts. Aviation is responsible for 2% of emissions worldwide and global warming is a huge issue in todayââ¬â¢s society, with many individuals dedicated to the social trend of ââ¬Ëgoing greenââ¬â¢ in a bid to save the planet. Virgin Atlantic remain actively involved in the research and development of alternative sustainable fuels and have joined a voluntary agreement proposed by the airline industry to reduce emissions by 50% in 2050 compared to that of 2005 . 3. 4 Technological Factors Virgin Atlantic has been at the forefront of technology, starting in the eighties when it was the first airline to have individual Televisions for its Business Class Passengers, Virgin Atlantic (2009). With technology in the aviation industry developing from year to year, from new air craft models which reduce emissions to efficient means of checking in customers nd the great entertainment facilities on board makes air travel is very appealing. Virgin Atlantic offer great entertainment systems as well as spacious and luxury air travel in their Airbus A380, which is the worldââ¬â¢s first twin deck aircraft offering a fully functioning restaurantââ¬â¢s and barââ¬â¢s, Boston (2009). This level of technology in the A3 80 sets the airline before is competitors such as BA and low budget airlines can simply not compete with the level of comfort provided on board. 4)Company Financial Performance Despite harsh conditions of the external environment, namely the recession, Virgin Atlantic have remained a successful and profitable airline. In this section, the financial performance of the airline will be analysed over a 4 year period and compared to its main competitor British Airways as well as popular low budget airline Ryanair. 4. 1. The first area we will look at is turnover. The turnover indicates the level of business that each airline has achieved over a yearly period, changes in turnover can be impacted by changes in external factors which result in a decrease of sales. Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s turnover is much less compared to their competitors. This is not a true indication of the financial performance of an organisation but the money they derive from sales can indicate the demand one airlines service over another. Although a company may have a high sales turnover, the real profitability is determined by taking the pre-tax profits and dividing these by the turnover, Thomson and Martin 2005. 4. 2. Pre-tax profits To establish the financial success of the Virgin Atlantic we will firstly look at the pre-tax profits of the airline & that of its chosen competitors. Pre-tax profits ââ¬â Ryanair (thousand 000) Ryanair (2005/9) Pre-tax profits- British Airways (Millions ? ) British Airways (2005/9) They key factor to note in all three pre-tax profits charts is that the recession in 2008 has impacted both low frills airlines and British Airways. Both airline reported losses, the most significant being that of BA at ? 401 Million. Despite the external factor of climate change Virgin Atlantic has managed to not only sustain its financial performance but to almost doubled their pre-tax profits from the previous year, with recorded pre-tax profits of ? 68. 4 Million. 4. 3. Profit Margin Virgin Atlantic is the only one to have maintained their profit margin over 2008. Ryanair & British Airways have made significant losses, whilst Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s profit margin is growing. This just shows how much of an impact the economy has on the airline industry and means that Virgin Atlantic will have to keep cost of sales, administration, the selling and distribution costs of tickets down in order to remain profitable. 4. 4. Gearing Ratio The average gearing ratio in the airline industry is around 150% while some companies who are struggling in the recession are as high as 380%. Another key statistic in determining Virgin Atlantics financial position is the gearing ratio. The gearing ratio measures the return on capital employed and indicates any financial risks. The principle is that the higher the gearing ratio the more vunerable the company is. Year Gearing (%) 2005 284. 76 2006 209. 82 2007 199. 92 2008 189. 44 2009 183. 18 As you can see from the table above Virgin Atlantic is slightly over the recommended average in the aviation industry but their vulnerability and financial risk is decreasing year on year following the demand for their services. 5. Competitive Strategy A clear competitive strategy is key in the success of an organisation meeting its strategic objectives. In order to establish Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s Competitive strategy we will be using Porters Generic Strategic Framework, a diagram is shown below. According to Porters theory there are 5 forces used to analyse the industry; 5. 1. ââ¬Å"Threat of New Entrants. â⬠As with any industry the more new airlines that enter the market, the more saturated it becomes. The most important factors in the airline industry in retaining loyalty are brand name recognition and frequent fliers point s. Virgin Atlantic have spent the past 25 years building their polished and somewhat sexy image which is so appealing to flyers today. Virgin Atlantics strong brand name and discounts for loyal air travellers will give them the power to gain a customer even if its prices are slightly higher than its competitors. 5. 2. ââ¬Å"Power of Suppliers. â⬠Boeing and Airbus are two of the main air craft manufacturers. Their aircrafts are used by Virgin Atlantic and majority of its competitors, therefore there is no real competition between them. 5. 3 ââ¬Å"Power of Buyers. Due to there being a low choice in suppliers in the aviation industry and taking into account that switching all Virgin Atlantics 38 air crafts to another supplier would be very costly, the airline do not have power over the suppliers. 5. 4. ââ¬Å"Availability of Substitutes. â⬠Substitute products and services may be a concern of some airlines, especially smaller regional firms. However when it comes to Virgin Atl antic they have routes to some of the best locations in the world, of course there are other premium fare airlines which go to the same destinations but they will not have the same brand image as Virgin. It would just be up to the individual travelling and probably concern the cost difference between Virgin Atlantic and its Competitors. 5. 5. ââ¬Å"Competitive Rivalry. â⬠There is a certain degree of rivalry in the aviation industry, especially between Virgin Atlantic and British airways. The affects of the competition are more clear in a economic turndown, for example BAââ¬â¢s loss of 401 million the year ending wonââ¬â¢t be helped by Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s 25th Anniversary which was celebrated all though 2009, offering special promotions and discounted rates. 5. 6. This Analysis would indicate that Virgin Atlantic would fall under differentiation focus strategy. By offering premium priced products for a high quality service Virgin Atlantic has an advantage over its competitors. Porter (1980) 6. Strategic Direction of Development The main strategic direction flowed by Virgin Atlantic in to increase the airlines market share. This growth has been the main strategic objective since 2008 when it was introduced in a 3 year plan. According to Ansoffââ¬â¢s Matrix there are four main types of growth, Ansoff (1987). Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s strategic direction would fall under both market penetration & Product Development. The existing market which Virgin Atlantic operates in continues to have a growing demand for the current services which the airline offer. The growth in demand is due to several of the external factors which were discussed earlier, namely the social trend of luxury air travel and the idea of jet setting around the world with a company associated with celebrities and seen to been sexy. The growth in demand is identified in the increased ticket sales over the past few years despite the current recession which is affecting other premium airlines Virgin Atlantic continue to out-grow its competitors. The strategic direction of increasing market share could not come at a better time for Virgin with British Airways in massive dept and in a very vulnerable position. It is no secret that if BA were unable to operate that Virgin Atlantic would see a significant increase in the market share. Despite the success of the existing services in the existing markets, it is well known that Virgin Atlantic drive for innovation in product development. As established in the external environmental analysis airline have been at the forefront of technology since they launched in the eighties. By continually updating their fleet of air crafts with the newest gadgets and luxuries, the airlines passengers have a better experience on board and are more likely to travel time and time again with the airline. 7. Methods of Development 7. 1. In order for Virgin Atlantic Airline to grow it entered into a code share agreement with some of the larger names in the airline industry these included Continental Airlines & Jet Airways iloveinda. com (2009). Code sharing agreements are used by companies to make the most of each otherââ¬â¢s resources and according to the Air Transport Association, Code-sharing agreements allow two (or more) airlines to offer a broader array of services to their customers than they could individually. These marketing arrangements enable an airline to issue tickets on a flight operated by another airline as if it were its own, including the use of its own two-letter code for that flight. These arrangements allow airlines to market expanded networks for the ir passengers at minimal expenseâ⬠Air Transport Association (2009) 7. 2. In 1999 Virgin Atlantic also partnered with Singapore airlines who now own 49% of the company, Richard Branson signed the deal as he believed it to be an effective way of offering their customers a wider range of destinations at competitive rates BBC News (1999). 8. Conclusions and Recommendations The diagram created by Rowe et Al in 1989, can be used to determine Virgin Atlantics Strategic direction and determines what type of strategy the airline should undertake going forward. Rowe et Al developed this model based on which he considered to be four important variables. The financial strength of the airline and the advantage it has over its competing airlines makes up the internal strategic direction and the stability of the economy along with the attractiveness of the airline industry as a whole. Throughout this report, the strategic direction of Virgin Atlantic has been discussed and the methods of development evaluated alongside airlines financial performance, taking into consideration the external environment. As a result of this analysis and though Rowe at Alââ¬â¢s Space Analysis we can conclude that the airline is not only using a aggressive strategy but that their approach is highly competitive. The current strategy employed by Virgin Atlantic is very successful and is essentially the reason why the organisation has remained profitable in such times as a recession. I would recommend that Virgin Atlantic extend the current strategy over a longer period of time, all of the areas in this report echo the success of the strategy and how well it fits into the organisations business model. They must make sure that they continue to brand themselves as having a unique selling point with an emphasis on value for money in order to remain competitive. Another recommendation would be to keep the economy boarding which they have on flights, i believe that if this element was stripped away altogether then the airline would further narrow their market further and reduce the potential market shares. With the voluntary target set in the airline industry on cutting emissions by 2050, I would encourage Virgin Atlantic to take a more public stance and be actively involved in the research and development of bio fuels by pairing up with the lead organisation. This would enforce the airlines stance of ethical issues regarding global warming. The way in which the organisation brands itself, being sexy & tongue in cheek, has been constantly one of the most important factors in the airlines success. I recommend that message conveyed with the airlines ââ¬â¢25 years still red hot campaignââ¬â¢ is carried on throughout 2010. Page 12 References Airline Network (2007) ââ¬ËVirgin Atlantic Passenger Traffic Increaseââ¬â¢ Online at http://www. get-packing. com/news/flights/archives/august-2007/virgin-atlantic-passenger-traffic-increase. html (Accessed 19th November 2009) Air Transport Association ââ¬ËAirline Handbook, Chapter 2, Code Sharingââ¬â¢ online at http://www. airlines. rg/products/AirlineHandbookCh2. htm (Accessed 1st January 2010) Boston (2009) ââ¬ËVirgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s Airbus A380ââ¬â¢ online at http://images. google. co. uk/imgres? imgurl=http://cache. boston. com/bonzai-fba/Third_Party_Photo/2005/01/18/1106063427_8542. jpg&imgrefurl=http://www. boston. com/business/gallery/airbus/&usg=__tA9Pr Cq_sbXx6TAWpndBbvcOSrc=&h=333&w=508&sz=28&hl=en&start=7&um=1&tbnid=wm5v998e2jOptM:&tbnh=86&tbnw=131&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvirgin%2Bairbus%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4TSEH_enGB359GB359%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1 (Accessed online 20th November 2009) BBC News (2008)ââ¬â¢Airline in first biofuel flightââ¬â¢ online at http://news. bc. co. uk/1/hi/7261214. stm (Accessed 10th of December 2009). BBC News, ââ¬ËBranson sells 49% of Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢ online at http://news. bbc. co. uk/1/hi/business/572516. stm (Accessed 19th November 2009) BBC News (2008) ââ¬ËCrew sacked over Facebook postsââ¬â¢ online at http://news. bbc. co. uk/1/hi/uk/7703129. stm (Accessed 10th December 2009 The Daily Mail (2009) ââ¬ËLike A Virgin (Pin-Up): kate Moss Dresses up In A Red Playsuit As She Joins Branson for Virgin Atlanticââ¬â¢s 25th Birthdayââ¬â¢ online at http://www. dailymail. co. k/tvshowbiz/article-1194691/Like-A-Virgin-Pinââ¬âKate-Moss-dresses-red-joins-Branson-Virgin-Atlantics-25th-birthd ay. html (Accessed 20th November 2009) The Daily Mail (2009) ââ¬ËVirgin Staff Get Bonuses While Ailing Rivals BA Urged to Take Pay Cutââ¬â¢ online at http://www. dailymail. co. uk/news/article-1194942/Virgin-staff-bonuses-ailing-rivals-BA-urged-pay-cut. html (Accessed 19th November 2009) Iloveindia. com ââ¬ËVirgin Atlantic Airwaysââ¬â¢ online at http://www. iloveindia. com/airlines-in-india/international/virgin-atlantic. htm
Monday, September 16, 2019
Assessment and Treatment Exercise
Jesminder ââ¬Å"Jessâ⬠Kaur Bhamra presents today with difficulties she is having at home. She comes from a very traditional and strict Indian family where gender roles are clearly defined. Women are expected to learn to cook and care for their husbands, who are, of course, expected to be the sole breadwinners. She states that she loves and respects her parents as well as their traditions but feels such traditions are antiquated. She has decided to seek counseling because of her recent encounter with her mother. Jess does not wish to take on the traditional role of young Indian women, who marry young and desire a husband.She is very assertive and wants to break out of the mold, being something different than what is expected. I evaluate this as a typical adolescent issue, a growing pain, if you will that is being trivialized by her parents. Jess is at a crossroads. It is normal to desire to please oneââ¬â¢s parents and Jess needs to evaluate her motives for doing what she wa nts for herself and what her parentsââ¬â¢ desires. Client Motivation Jess sees herself as a female version of her hero, David Beckham, competing in soccer rather than cooking for an acceptable Indian man as tradition dictates.She has posters of him plastered all over her bedroom. She watches him so intensely on television that she is not even always aware that her parents are calling her. She plays every chance she gets with her male counterparts in the park. She even keeps up a rouse of a summer job to secretly participate on an all girl team. She is also made aware by her teammates and coach that there is a real possibility that her dream of playing professionally may be realized Client Resources (strengths) Jess exercises and practices frequently. Her coach and peers encourage her and let her know how good of a player she is.The guys that she plays with at the park come to her games to cheer her on. Jess is highly disciplined. She takes her training seriously and has a very lo ving and supporting family. She states that her mother always wants the best for she and her sister and that she is always concerned with their well-being. Jess can talk to her father about anything that is going on in her life and most of the time, he is very understanding. She and her sister have a close bond. Her relationship with her sister, Pinky, is one of the things that enables her to continue on.Pinky covers for Jess so that she can continue to play soccer. She encourages her to do her best and not to worry about other peopleââ¬â¢s thoughts about what she is doing. Jess also mentions Jules, a teammate who is going through a similar situation with her own family and has been able to relate to her struggles. They are a tower of strength to each other. In addition to sheer determination, these are things that keep Jess focused on her goals. Interpersonal functioning Jessââ¬â¢s peers share her interests. She has a few peers that are ââ¬Ëboy crazyââ¬â¢ but she does n ot really hang out with them.Jess has slowly begun to detach herself from them because they cannot understand why she would rather get sweaty and dirty than go shopping with them. She also has an understanding coach, Joe. Joe has helped her break out of her shell by allowing her to accept herself. She was very afraid to play in short pans because of the burns she encountered as a child. Joe showed her his scar and she is no longer afraid to play in short pants. This new level of acceptance has propelled her into a greater realm of possibilities. No one on her team comments about it.One of her peers from the park made a comment but she was very resilient to it and it has not been an issue since. She has made a healthy adjustment to her circumstances and not let a deformity discourage or predict her future. Intrapersonal function According to Jess, going against her motherââ¬â¢s wishes is like rejecting her own culture. The reason that she feels this way is because she believes tha t she has nothing in common with the majority of her peers, especially those within her culture. Her priorities clash with her motherââ¬â¢s expectations.Jess believes her mother wants her to be more feminine like her sister and that her mother values matrimony over independence. Even though she has now surrounded herself with people that are interested in the same things she is, she can not help but feel alone. As much as her friends want to be there for her they do not understand why she can not just tell her mother what she really wants to do and her peers have a hard time letting her deal with the situation. They do not understand her traditions. Even though her sister has always been there for her, Pinky is more traditional.Jess is the only female in her immediate cultural surroundings that has an unusual aspiration and she is trying to assess her feelings. She needs to determine if she is doing the right thing. Without any female role models in her culture to model, it is an even more difficult feat. As much as she wants to follow her dreams and make soccer her profession, she is also feeling torn inside. Ethic/Culture/Gender considerations In Indian culture one of the most important things there is, is marriage and family. It is unthinkable for a daughter to go against her parentsââ¬â¢ wishes and most importantly playing such a masculine sport like soccer.According to Jess girls are supposed to put a great emphasis on learning how to be a good homemaker and making their husband happy and then they can think about such things as education and other interests they may have. In Indian society an arranged marriage is seen as an act of love. Since marriage in their culture is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make and because divorce is not accepted among most Indians, it is important that the marriage choice is carefully thought out and planned.The family, usually the parents, look for certain traits in a marriage partner. Some des irable traits looked for in both male and female are things like matching levels of education, matching cultures, close parental cities and matching religions. There are however times when a ââ¬Å"love matchâ⬠happens as it was in the case of Pinky and her fiance. A love match is much like an American marriage, where the two fall in love. However, in Jessââ¬â¢s case her interest in soccer was not going to be accepted that easily. Her situation went beyond what any elder in her family would ever understand.For them, seeing Jess run around in a pair of shorts playing a game that is considered a ââ¬Å"menâ⬠sport would bring much disgrace to their whole family. Her culture does not accept any form of homosexuality. She almost destroyed her sisterââ¬â¢s chances of getting married because the fianceââ¬â¢s family thought they saw her kissing a girl. She and Jules were joking around on a bus stop and it was misinterpreted by Pinkyââ¬â¢s future in-laws. It brought te mporary shame to her family. Her culture is very keen on respecting parents and obeying their wishes.This is why the secret that she keeps is causing her so much turmoil. Her family is deeply religious and she has to participate in various rituals that interfere with her ability to play soccer. Developmental considerations If Jess were to be a ââ¬Å"regularâ⬠girl growing up in the United States the problem that she is going through might not be such a big deal with any other family. There are some families who would love to have a well-rounded teen-ager who is staying out of trouble and has not given into peer pressure to follow any trends.For a 17 year-old Jess is very mature and is able to analyze the consequences that her actions might bring. She is mature enough to understand that she is caught between what she wants and what her parents want for her and was able to seek out the help that she needs in order to address her problem. Inferences and Judgments Jess is a wonder ful young lady. She is very grounded and disciplined. She has great friends. One of the young men she pals around with even offered to marry her so that she can pursue her dream. She was offered a scholarship to play soccer and she does not know how to inform her parents about it.Given her history and her internal conflict, I am confident that Jess will make the right decision and right choices for her family and her future. Summary Practitionerââ¬â¢s impressions, including the initial problem targeted for treatment When I first met with Jess I believed her to be a well-rounded person that really knew what she wanted. She has a lot of things going in her favor such as having a strong support system that she can count on and having a strong sense of self when it comes to what she wants out of life.She is lacking the confidence and courage to confront her mother and let her know what she wants out of life. Identification of goals Some of the goals we have set during our sessions in volve ways of solving her dilemma with her family. Her father has become aware of her situation and she was allowed to play in the tournament. She has made immense progress by allowing one of her parents to become her ally. She needs to build and strengthen her relationship with her mother and allow her mother to come to terms with her decisions. She also needs to stand firm on her beliefs.Jess must learn to combine her interests and goals for the future with her cultural influence. She also needs to learn to be more constructive in her way of handling othersââ¬â¢ opinions of her culture. She had become very upset on the field when a young lady called her a Paki. She began fighting with her. She and Joe have developed feelings for each other. She must work getting her parents to accept this because he is not of her culture. Overall, she has made tremendous progress and at this point, she seems sufficient enough to execute these goals without further intervention.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
Care Delivery & Management Essay
The purpose of this assignment is to reflect upon my personal and professional development. It will consider the quality of the care I provided, the skills I developed in my specialist placement, plus my learning since the commencement of my nurse training. Personal learning and self-reflection will be identified. I shall be using Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle to consider my practice. Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle looks at six aspects which include the following; what happened, what were my thoughts and feelings, what was good or bad about the experience, what sense can I make out of the situation, what else could I have done and if it arose again what would I do? Findings will be supported or contrasted by relevant literature. A conclusion will be offered to evaluate findings. I shall also include an action plan, which will address future professional and personal development needs and any factors that may help or hinder this. I will also consider why I have selected these issues fo r my action plan, what my goals are and how I aim to achieve them. At the beginning of my nurse training we were asked to write on a piece of piece what our definition of nursing was. I wrote ââ¬ËItââ¬â¢s about being humanââ¬â¢. At the time these words were based on my gut feeling and personal belief. Now, two and a half years later, I would write the same thing, but this time my definition would be based on the skills, knowledge and experiences I feel privileged and grateful to have had during my training and not just on gut feeling and personal belief. How does this knowledge impact on me in terms of practice? I can now put my definition of nursing into a framework and relate the theory of it to practice, for example I can identify when I am actively undertaking anxiety management with a patient. This is quite an achievement for me. What else have I learnt? I have gained knowledge of illnesses and understand how bio-psycho-social aspects of mental illness impact on the individual, their family and their life. I have also developed a good basic knowledge of practical skills such as: counselling, anxiety management, assessment, nursing and communication models, problem-solving and psychotherapy. This knowledge and development of practical skills has enabled my self confidence and self esteem to grow. What things have had the most influence on my personal and professional learning? These things are what ââ¬ËItââ¬â¢s about being humanââ¬â¢ means to me as a nurse. They include a humanistic care philosophy. Evidence suggests that patients have found the humanistic care philosophy to be positive and helpful to their well-being (Beech, Norman 1995.) Humanistic care believes in; developing trust, the nurse-patient relationship, using the self as a therapeutic tool, spending time to ââ¬Ëbe withââ¬â¢ and ââ¬Ëdo withââ¬â¢ the patient (Hanson 2000,) patient empowerment, the patient as an equal partners in their care (Department Of Health 1999,) respect for the patientââ¬â¢s uniqueness, recognition of the patient as an expert on themselves (Nelson-Jones 1982, Playle 1995, Horsfall 1997). Equally important to me is person-centred care, Rogerââ¬â¢s (1961) unconditional positive regard, warmth, genuineness and empathy, recognition of counter-transference, self-reflect ion and self-awareness. I was on placement with Liaison Psychiatry also known as Deliberate Self Harm. The team consisted of my mentor and myself. In this placement we would assess patients who had deliberately self harmed. Patients would be referred via A&E only. We would see patients whilst they were still in A&E or after they had been transferred to hospital wards for medical treatment for their injuries etc. We would only see patients once they were medically fit to have a psychiatric assessment. The purpose of the assessment was to find out what was happening for the individual and see if we could offer any help via mental health services to the individual, this is done via implementing ââ¬ËAPIEââ¬â¢ the nursing process (Hargreaves 1975). The main focus was to consider what degree of risk we felt the patient was in. Therefore we needed to establish what the individuals intent was at the time of the deliberate self harm, and if suicidal, whether they still had suicidal intent after the incident. We also held a weekly counselling clinic. I considered Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle. How did I feel about this placement? At first I was apprehensive as to how I would feel dealing with patients who do not necessarily want to live. I belong to a profession that saves lives, so I felt an inner conflict. This is an anxiety that is recognised in most nurses (Whitworth 1984). In my first few weeks I felt distressed by the traumatic events that these patients were experiencing. I felt guilty that I have a family who love me, a fulfilling career, a lovely home and no debts, then each day I talk to people who may have no home, no money, no one to love them and no employment. It was hard for me to make sense of these things when life circumstances, such as class, status, wealth, education and employment create unfairness. I felt a desire to help try and improve the quality of these patientsââ¬â¢ situations. Midence (1996) has identified that these feelings are a normal response when dealing with others less fortunate that oursel ves. Patientsââ¬â¢ who attempt suicide have lost hope (Beck 1986). I felt more settled and positive once I was able to make sense of the situation (Gibbs 1988). I realised that could help by listening to these patientââ¬â¢s and help to restore hope, develop problem solving ideas to tackle some of their problems or referring them to gain the emotional help and support they needed from appropriate mental health services. Patients find help with problem solving extremely valuable and can help them feel able to cope (McLaughlin 1999). Generally, after most assessments, I learnt that listening, giving emotional support and problem solving helped restore enough hope in the previously suicidal patient enable them to feel safe from future self harm. In only a handful of cases did my mentor and I need to admit patients to any inpatient facility under the Mental Health Act (1983). This was because they still felt at risk of future self-harm. Through using Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle to consider my special placement area I feel I have been able to change my nursing practice in a positive way, initially from feeling anxious, guilty and helpless when dealing with suicidal patients to feeling useful, constructive and positive. Iââ¬â¢ve learnt that by confronting my own feelings of guilt and discomfort I was able to help in a very positive, practical, constructive and empowering way. My mentor identified that one of my strengths is that I can generally combine common sense, logic and practicality in terms of risk assessment and problem solving and still build up a sensitive and caring, therapeutic relationship when dealing with patients whose circumstances are in crisis and complicated and they themselves are emotionally and mentally vulnerable. Nurses not only need good communication skills (Faulkner 1998) but they also need to have an environment conductive to open communication (Wilkinson 1992). Social barriers such as environment, structure or cultural aspects of healthcare can inhibit the application of communication skills (Chambers 2002) Utilising Gibbs (19988) Reflective Model, in retrospect; I feel our interview with some patients could have been done differently. On occasions when my mentor and I were in the A & E department the two rooms that we had available for our use were occasionally both in use. This meant that we would conduct our assessment interviews in the Plaster Room, if it was empty. This room was where medical patients would have plaster-casts applied. This was a very clinical room. However, due to limited room availability this was sometimes the only option we had at the time, it was not a welcoming or appropriate setting and would not have helped patients feel relaxed or valued. In reflection, I believe it was actually demeaning as we were asking patients who had attempted suicide to sit on a hard chair in a clinical workroom and share their despair with us. I am sad that this happened and I feel as though we were giving the patients the impression that a cold clinical work room is all they were worth. If this arose again (Gibbs 1988) I would suggest to my mentor that we wait for one of our allocated rooms to become available, where the rooms were relaxing, with soft armchairs and a feeling of comfort. Using Gibbs (1988) Reflective Model I shall describe a situation with a patient to highlight my learning. What happened (Gibbs 1988)? Neil had been bought to A&E by his son after he made an attempt to take his own life. His son explained that Neilââ¬â¢s wife had terminal cancer and had died the day before. Neil was unable to engage in conversation other that to repeat over and over again ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want to live without my wife.â⬠However the more disturbed and difficult to communicate a patient is the less interaction they receive therapeutic or otherwise from nursing staff (Cormack 1976, Poole, Sanson-Fisher, Thompson 1981, Robinson 1996a, 1996b). I found this too be true in Neilââ¬â¢s situation as some A & E nurses did not wish to approach him because of his disturbed state and unresponsiveness to verbal cues. What were my thoughts and feeling (Gibbs 1988)? After spending twenty minutes in the assessment interview Neil had remained unresponsive to our approaches and had remained distressed, distant and uncommunicative for the entire time. I had past experience of recent bereavement within my immediate family and I realised that counter-transference was at play and was a reason for my strong emotional reaction to Neilââ¬â¢s distress resulting in me having an overwhelming desire to ease his suffering. Even though another part of me understood the need for him to experience this extreme pain as a normal part of grieving. What was good or bad about the experience (Gibbs 1988)? This was not a good experience for me because as a compassionate person, I found it extremely hard to suppress my own feelings of wanting to protect him from such devastating distress, although I recognised that I was over-identifying with him due to my own grief. I considered that he might have been embarrassed by the emotional state he was in and his inability to control his grief; he could not speak, maintain eye contact or even physically stand. What sense could I make of the situation (Gibbs 1988)? We adjourned for a few minutes so that my mentor and I could assess the situation. I thought it might be appropriate to utilise Heronââ¬â¢s Six Category Intervention Analysis (1975) cathartic intervention as a therapeutic strategy to enable the patient to release emotional tension such as grief, anger, despair and anxiety by helping to (Chambers 1990). I hoped it would facilitate the opportunity for Neil to open up and express his full feelings in a safe and supportive environment. I initially planned to sit quietly with him and briefly put a reassuring hand on either his hand, arm or shoulder. My mentor supported this action. I was aware that I ran a risk of misinterpretation by choosing therapeutic touch. Therapeutic touch may be criticised because it is open to misinterpretation by the patient and abuse of power by staff. The patient may view holding anotherââ¬â¢s hand as a sexual advance, violation or abuse, so nurses should always consider patient consent, appropriateness, context and boundaries. Clause 2.4 of the Nursing and Midwifery Council (2002) Code Of Professional Conduct says that at all times healthcare professionals must maintain appropriate boundaries with patients and all aspects of care must be relevant to their needs. Therapeutic touch appeared acceptable given his situation and seemed appropriate to the context it would be performed in, given that my mentor would supervise me. As per Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle I considered what else I could have done especially if the situation arose again and mentor not been there. I would may have chosen to utilise Hansonââ¬â¢s (2000) approach of ââ¬Ëbeing withââ¬â¢ whereby I use therapeutic use of self through the sharing of oneââ¬â¢s own presence, and not involved any form of touch, avoiding any misinterpretation or breach of boundaries. I was anxious because I felt concerned that my nursing skills would be inadequate to address his needs due to his acutely distressed state. In reflection my mentor helped me acknowledge that this was about my own anxiety rather than being accurately reflective of my nursing ability. I approached Neil and explained that if it was acceptable with him I would like to sit quietly with him so that he was not alone in his distress. ââ¬Å"It is likely that the nursing process is therapeutic when nurse and patient can come to know and to respect each other, as persons who are alike and yet different, as persons who share in the solution of problemsâ⬠(Peplau 1988). I gently placed my hand onto his. Neil reacted by given the impression that he physically disintegrated, he become extremely distressed and crying loudly, squeezing my hand tightly. This continued for several minutes. Neil became calmer and started to talk about his situation. This was a good outcome. I was able to utilise Herons (1975) cathartic strategy with positive effect via empathising with Neilââ¬â¢s situation and using myself as a therapeutic tool through the use of touch, thus enabling Neil to express his emotions and activate a nurse-patient relationship. Studies have shown that nurses can express compassion and empathy through touch, using themselves as a therapeutic tool (Routasalo 1999, Scholes 1996) and this has a cathartic value, enabling the patient to express their feelings more easily (Leslie Baillie 1996). The therapeutic value of non-verbal communication and its harmfulness is overlooked (Salvage 1990). Attitudes are evident in the way we interact with others and can create atmospheres that make patient care uncomfortable (Hinchcliff, Norman, Schoeber 1998) On one occasion, one nurse privately referred to Neil as a ââ¬Å"wimpâ⬠because he was having difficulty coping with the death of his wife. I wondered whether her body language had transmitted her bad attitude towards Neil, contributing to his distress and difficulties in communicating with staff. Again using Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle, I shall provide another example to highlight my learning in practice. What happened (Gibbs 1988)? Cycle On one occasion my mentor and I received a phone call from A & E asking us to review an 18-year-old girl called Emma who had taken an overdose. They said she was medically fit to be assessed. When we arrived they claimed that she was pretending to still feel unwell and described her as ââ¬Å"milking itâ⬠. We found her to be vomiting and discovered she had been left in a bed in the corridor of A & E for 8 hours. McAllister (2001) found that patients who had self-harmed were ignored, had exceptionally long waits and suffered judgemental comments. What were my thoughts and feelings (Gibbs 1988)? I felt very angry towards A & E staff as I felt that she was being unfairly treated because she had caused harm to herself, she had been labelled as a troublemaker by staff and I do not believe she had received good quality care. Emma explained that in the last month her father had died, she had miscarried her baby, discovered that her partner was having an affair, and she had been made redundant leaving her with debts that she couldnââ¬â¢t pay. As I looked at her, I saw a vulnerable young woman at the end of her tether. I felt saddened and disappointed by the judgemental attitudes of the A & E staff who had not even taken the time to talk to Emma or ask her why she had taken an overdose, instead they describe her as an ââ¬Å"immature and attention seeking kidâ⬠. As per Gibbs (1988) Reflective Cycle, I felt this was a very bad experience of poor care, bad attitudes and unacceptable moral judgement being made by A & E staff. Cohen (1996) and Nettleton (1995) identify that social status; age, gender, race and class contribute to stereotyping and judgemental attitudes. I noticed that people who self-harmed were judged differently dependent upon their age and the younger they were the worse the attitude of A and E staff. Interestingly ageism towards youth is an area that I could find no research on. I believe ageism towards younger people is overlooked and is really only identified in the elderly. During the assessment I was aware of how my physical presence can impact on the care given. However, I have learnt about the importance of considering how one can communicate to the patient via body language. By attending to patients in a non-verbal or physical way it is another method of saying, ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m interested, Iââ¬â¢m listening and I care.â⬠To do this during Emmaââ¬â¢s assessment I utilised Eganââ¬â¢s (1982) acronym S.O.L.A.R. This meant that I sat facing Emma Squarely, with an Open posture, Leaning towards her, whilst making Eye contact and Relaxing myself, to give her the feeling of my willingness to help. This client centred care recognises her equality in the nurse-patient relationship. What sense did I make of the situation (Gibbs 1988)? I was very unhappy about the attitude of A & E staff but recognised that they had a lack of understanding and knowledge. In one study looking at self-harm admissions it was discovered that patients who deliberately self-harm are often deemed as unpopular patients, being labelled and judged as time wasters by A & E staff. Apparently 55% of general nurses perceived these patients as attention seekers and disliked working with them, 64% found it frustrating, 20% found it depressing and almost a third found it uncomfortable (Sidley, Renton 1996). What else could I have done (Gibbs 1988) After reflecting upon the experience with my mentor, I was able to realise that part of my role is to act as a representative for mental health. If this happened again what would I do (Gibbs 1988)? If staff were to make judgemental comments again it is part of my role to educate and inform them so they can have a positive understanding of the needs of the mental health patient and learn to address any judgemental comments made. This is a view supported by Johnstone (1997), who says that if we are made aware of our actions when we are judging and labelling people it is our responsibility to correct this. Medical staff need to be aware of mental health promotion, and need further training and education in respects of helping to care for and understand of this vulnerable patient group (Hawton 2000). This is a view supported by the Department of Health (DOH 1999a) who have recommended closer liaison between mental health and A & E services in an effort to address the poor understanding and negative attitudes of A & E staff. I have also learnt that I must look at both sides of each situation and should show more understanding towards the A & E staffââ¬â¢s feelings, as they are often confronted with shocking and distressing acts of self infliction which can make them feel despair, helpless and unskilled to deal with these sort of patient. I believe nurses negative attitudes develop because we all intuitively apply own our values and views to everyday situations, people, experiences and interactions. It may be the staff memberââ¬â¢s own coping mechanism to keep their distance from the patient or to label them as attention seeking in order to make sense of the situation for themselves. This is a view supported by Johnstone (1997). In reflection, following the assessment and planning of care for Emma my mentor and I reflected upon the care I provided for her. I recognised that I felt nervous because it was my first experience of conducting an assessment. Having my mentor there to observe me made me feel secure because I trusted my mentor and could rely on her expertise to ensure that I provided safe practice for Emma. However, I still felt anxious as I was faced with an unknown situation. This made me realise how difficult and intimidating the assessment process may have felt to Emma. I had the security of feeling safe in the relationship with my mentor. Emma didnââ¬â¢t know either of us. This highlighted the huge value of the nurse-patient relationship and how the importance of utilising Rogers (1961) theory of client-centred care involving unconditional positive regard, warmth, genuineness and empathy towards patients. My mentor said that I provided evidence based care and I appeared to have a good humanistic approach, sensitively providing client centred care. She joked that I was so keen to ââ¬Ëget it rightââ¬â¢ that I was practically sat on Emmaââ¬â¢s knee in my efforts to non-verbally show to Emma that I was attentive and listening to her. I think that whilst this was a joke, I will endeavour to continue to be keen but will relax a bit more, hopefully as I gain more experience myself. I will also use the insight and understanding from these experiences to benefit my future practise and the care I provide for patients. Boyd & Fales (1983) suggest, ââ¬Å"Reflective learning is the process of internally examining an issue of concern, triggered by an experience, which creates and clarifies meaning in terms of self, and which results in a changed conceptual perspective.â⬠Self-reflection helps the practitioner find practice-based answers to problems that require more than the application of theory (Schon 1983). I have discovered this to be true, especially in mental health nursing where problem solving may be in the realm of religious, spiritual or cultural beliefs, emotional or intuitive feelings, ethics and moral ideals, which sometimes cannot be theorised. With one patient I couldnââ¬â¢t understand his unwillingness to engage in therapy even though he turned up for a weekly appointment. Once I reflected on this with my mentor I realised that I was not considering his strict religious and cultural background, which complicated his care. I realised that I had been completely ignorant of his needs and had in-fact lacked self-awareness otherwise I would have recognised these issues sooner. According to Kemmis (1995) a benefit of self-reflection is that it helps practitioners become ââ¬Ëaware of their unawarenessââ¬â¢. I have learnt that there are barriers to reflection. On occasions after seeing a patient my mentor may interpret events in a slightly different way to myself. Newell (1992) and Jones (1995) criticize the idea of reflection arguing that it is a flawed process due to inaccurate recall memory and hindsight bias. Another criticism of refection is that it aims to theorise actions in hindsight therefore devaluing the skill of responding intuitively to a patient (Richardson 1995). I considered that my thought to hold Neilââ¬â¢s hand may have been intuitive but because we must use evidence based practice and appropriate frameworks of care, I theorised my care and utilised Heronââ¬â¢s (1975) framework. I believe self-reflection helps me to become self-aware. Self-awareness is achieved when the student acknowledges there own personal characteristics, including values, attitudes, prejudices, beliefs, assumptions, feelings, counter-transferences, personal motives and needs, competencies, skills and limitations. When they become aware of these things and the impact they have on the therapeutic communication and relationship with the patient then they become self-aware (Cook 1999). I have learnt through these experiences that reflection can be a painful experience as I have recognised my own imperfections and bias. I have felt angry with general nursing staffs attitudes towards mental health patients and have now been able to realise that this emotion is unhelpful and instead I should be more tolerant and understanding and help them to understand the patients needs. It is also difficult especially if one is experiencing strong emotions such as anger, frustration and grief (Rich 1995). At times I have over-identified with my patients and personalised their situation to similar situations of my own. This is known as counter-transference and has blinded my ability to address their care needs. Counter-transference is the healthcare professionals emotional reaction to the patient, it is constantly present in every interaction and it strongly influences the therapeutic relationship, but is often not reflected upon (Slipp 2000). Counter-transference can be defined as negative as it can create disruptive feelings in the clinician, causing misguided values and bias (Pearson 2001). I have learnt that it is crucial for me to consider how my reactions to a patientââ¬â¢s problem can impact on the care I provide. Whilst I endeavour to always give 100% best and unbiased care to each patient, I have realised I respond more favourably to patients that I like or identify with. For example I was extremely compassionate and biased towards both Emma and Neil and I feel that my personal life experiences influenced me because I could really empathise with them both. However, I realised that I am only human and that as long as I recognise the impact of counter-transference then I can use it positively as my self awareness of the fact that the process is occurring will enable me to address and challenge my own thoughts, feelings and responses. To conclude, I have been able to highlight my learning over the last two and a half years, both personally and professionally. This has enabled me to look at the areas that I am good at and the areas that I can improve on. I have been able to look at the quality of the care I have given patients and considered what I have achieved, how I felt, how I could have done things better, what was successful and unsuccessful, what issues influenced me and what understanding I had of the experience. I have also been able to recognise my role as a representative for mental health nursing and how I can promote it to other healthcare professionals. I have also identified the value of the role of my mentor in helping me to develop as a nurse. I will use the insight and understanding from these experiences to benefit my future practice and the care I provide for patients. ACTION PLAN Word Count 1086 What are my goals? My mentor and I discussed the areas that I want to improve on. We identified that my stronger points are common sense, logical approach and practical ability in terms of things like risk assessing and problem solving. I am also competent in the building of a therapeutic relationship, utilising a humanistic care philosophy, person centre approach, empathy, genuineness, unconditional positive regard and honest. I also have a good knowledge in respect of mental health promotion, anxiety management, basic counselling skills, understanding of the fundamentals associated with nursing, assessment and communication models and the basic principles of psychotherapy. I feel I have come a long way in two and a half years and have accomplished a lot. However, there are areas that I recognise that I can improve on and I am happy that I can address these as I hope this will improve my learning, skills and competency as a nurse in the future, providing better patient care. The areas I need to gain more knowledge and experience of include: understanding the religious, cultural and spiritual needs of the patient and how this impacts on their care and quality of life, recognising and working with counter transference and my tendency to feel the need to over protect patients as this does not help the patient to utilise choice, be responsible for themselves or empower themselves. I want to continue developing my own self awareness through self reflection. Finally I wish to develop my academic abilities and to train further so that I have more knowledge. Why have I chosen these issues? I have chosen to improve my knowledge and understanding of patients religious, cultural and spiritual needs and how this impacts on their care and quality of life, because by doing this I hope to be able to address their needs holistically. To successfully undertake a thorough assessment the healthcare practitioner needs to identify the holistic needs of the patient, failure to do so would neglect the patients physical, psycho-social and spiritual needs (Stuart and Sundeen 1997.) At present I feel I am unable to fully comprehend or provide best care as I feel I lack the skills and knowledge to do so. I also wish to further consider the impact of counter transference and my tendency to feel the need to over protect patients. I feel that if I gain more understanding and recognition of how counter-transference can change my reaction to a patient then I will be able to address it and have more control and choice over my nursing and my responses. In practice, I have experienced strong emotional reactions to some patientââ¬â¢s, perhaps because I could identify with some of their issues. However, this can result in my wanting to over protect them, which may disempower them, and this is unhelpful. Different characteristic in patients can influence the emotional reaction of the nurse (Holmquist 1998). I need to be able to recognise these characteristics in the patient and be self aware of the way I am responding. I want to continue developing my own self-awareness through self-reflection, as I will need to be able to exercise autonomous and expert judgement as a qualified nurse. The ability to use self-reflection as a learning tool to becoming self-aware will help me achieve this. This is a view supported by (Wong 1995). Boud, Keogh & Walker (1995) believe self reflection is an important human activity, essential for personal development as well as for the professional development of the nurse. By being able to mull over my experiences will help me challenge my beliefs and behaviour as an individual and a nurse. Finally I wish to develop my academic abilities and to train further so that I have more nursing knowledge. Experience alone is not the key to learning (Boud et al 1985). I wish to gain further qualifications so that I may further my career and knowledge, as this will provide a sense of achievement and fulfilment for me. How am I going to achieve my goals? I intend to develop my portfolio and keep an open reflective diary (Richardson 1995) to show evidence of my learning and prepare for my PREPP. Portfolios are seen as a collection of information and evidence used to summarize what has been learnt from prior experience and opportunities (Knapp 1975), and acknowledges professional and personal development, knowledge and competence, providing nurses with evidence of their eligibility for re-registration every three years (NMC 2002). I believe maintaining my portfolio helps with oneââ¬â¢s self-assessment and will help me to develop my strengths, plus identify and critically evaluate my weaker areas, this is a view supported by Garside (1990). However in contrast Miller & Daloz (1989) suggest there is no evidence to suggest that self assessment contributes to enhance self awareness. A barrier to oneââ¬â¢s ability to self-reflect may be time constraints and socio-economic factors such as high staff and management turnover, low staff morale and staff illness (Bailey 1995) I hope to overcome this by being a supportive team member to my colleagues and maintaining a positive mental attitude. I am happy to work on my portfolio and diary in my own time as I think it is a valuable learning tool. I will use my preceptorship, learning in practice, observation in practice and clinical supervision to help achieve my goals. Reflection on action is considered to be an essential part of clinical supervision (Scanlon & Weir 1997). I will continue to use Gibbs (1988) Reflective Model to help me develop my learning through reflection. I will need to feel confident that by sharing my portfolio, diary, reflection or seeking advice via preceptorship and supervision that this will not reflect negatively on me and effect my ability to feel able to trust my mentor. Students and staff sometimes feel unable to fully express themselves or belittled by the power relationship if supervision is not in a trusting relationship feeling it could be open to bias, personality clashes, counter-transference or could disadvantage them in terms of career development (Richardson 1995 Jones 2001). However, good clinical supervision enables nurses to feel better supported, contributing to safer and more effective nursing (Teasdale 2001, Jones A 2001). I hope to continue with life long learning and would like to be able to study for a degree in nursing. I shall do this by apply for funding once I am employed and hope that whoever my employers are they will support me in my goal to become better qualified. References Bailey J (1995) Reflective Practice, Implementing Theory, Nursing Standard, Vol 9 (46) 29-31 Baillie, L (1996) A Phenomenological Study Of The Nature Of Empathy, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, 24,6, 1300-1308 Beck A T (1986) Hopelessness As A Predictor OF Eventual Suicide, Annals Of The New York Academy Of Science, Vol 487, 90-96 Beech P, Norman I (1995) Patientsââ¬â¢ Perceptions Of The Quality Of Psychiatric Nursing Care: Findings From A Small Scale Descriptive Study, Journal Of Clinical Nursing, 4, 117-123 Boud D, Keogh R, Walker D (1985) Reflection: Turning Experience Into Learning, London, Kogan Page, Boyd E M, Fales A W (1983) Reflective Learning: Key To Learning From Experience, Journal OF Humanistic Psychology Vol 23 (2) 99-117 Chambers M, Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing; Learning In The Clinical Environment , Cited in: Reynolds W, Cormack D (Eds) (1990) Psychiatric And Mental Health Nursing, London, Chapman and Hall Cohen G (1996) Age And Health Status In A Patient Satisfaction Survey, Social Science And Medicine, Vol 42 (7) 1085-1093 Cook S (1999) The Self In Self Awareness, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 29 (6) 1292-1299 Cormack DFS (1976) Psychiatric Nursing Observed: A Descriptive Study Of The Work Of The Charge Nurse In Acute Admission Wards Of Psychiatric Hospitals, London RCN Department Of Health (1999) The National Service Framework for Mental Health, London, HMSO Egan G (1994) The Skilled Helper Model, Skills & Methods For Effective Helping, Brooks/Cole Publishing, Pacific Groves, California. Garside G (1990) Personal Profiling, Nursing, Vol 4 (8) 9-11 Gibbs G (1988) Cited in, Palmer A, Burns S, Bulman C (1994) Eds, Reflective Practice In Nursing, London, Blackwell Science Hanson B (2000) Being With, Doing With: A Model Of The Nurse Client Relationship In Mental Health Nursing, Journal Of Psychiatric And Mental Health Nursing, 2000, 7, 417-423 Hargreaves I, (1975) The Nursing Process, Nursing Times, 71,35, 89-91 Hawton K (2000) General Hospital Management Of Suicide Attempters, The International Handbook Of Suicide And Attempted Suicide, Chicester, John Wiley & Sons Heron J (1975) Six Category Intervention Analysis, Guildford, Human Potential resource Group, University Of Surrey Hinchcliff S, Norman S, Schoeber J (1998) Nursing Practice And Healthcare, 3rd Edition, London, Arnold Holmquist R (1998) The Influence Of Patient Diagnosis And Self Image On Clinicians Feelings, The Journal Of Nervous And Mental Disease, Vol 186, (8) 455-461 Horsfall J (1997) Psychiatric Nursing: Epistemological Contradictions, Advances In Nursing Science, 20 (1) 56-65 Johnstone L (1997) Self Injury And The Psychiatric Response, Feminism And Psychology, Vol 7, 421-426 Jones P R (1995) Hindsight Bias In Reflective Practice: An Empirical Investigation, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 21, 783-788 Kemmis S (1985) Action Research And The Politics Of Reflection, In Edwards M (1996) Patient-Nurse Relationships: Using reflective Practice, Nursing Standard, Vol 10 (25) 40-43 Knapp J (1975) A Guide To Assessing Prior experience Through Portfolios, Education Testing Service, Cooperative Assessment Of Experiential Learning, Princeton, New Jersey Mcallister M (2001) Dissociative Identity Disorder And The Nurse Patient Relationship In The Acute Care Setting: An Action Research Project, Australian And New Zealand Journal Of Mental Health Nursing, Vol 10, 20-32 McLaughlin C (1999) An Exploration Of Psychiatric Nurses And Patients Opinions regarding In-Patient Care For Suicidal patients, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 29 (5) 1042-1051 The Mental Health Act, (1983) Department Of Health, London, HMSO Midence K, Gregory S, Stanley R (1996) The Effects Of Patient Suicide On Nursing Staff, Journal Of Clinical Nursing, Vol 5, 115-120 Miller M, Daloz L (1989) Assessment Of Prior Learning, Good Practices Assure Congruity Between Work And Education, Equity And Excellence, Vol 24 (3) 30-34 Nelson-Jones R, (1982) The Theory And Practice Of Counselling Psychology, London, Cassell Nettleton S (1995) The Sociology Of Health And Illness, Blackwell, Cambridge. Newell R (1992) Anxiety, Accuracy And Reflection; The Limits Of Professional Development, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 17, 1326-1333 Nursing and Midwifery Council (2002) Code Of Professional Conduct, London, NMC Pearson L (2001) The Clinician-Patient Experience: Understanding Transference And Counter-transference, The Nurse Practitioner, The American Journal Of Primary Health Care, Vol 26 (6) 2001 Peplau H (1988) Interpersonal Relations In Nursing, London, MacMillan Press Poole AD, Sanson-Fisher RW, Thompson V (1981) Observations On The Behaviour Of Patients In A State Mental Hospital And A General Hospital Psychiatric Unit: A Comparative Study, Behaviour Research And Therapy, 19, 125-134 Playle J (1995) Humanism And Positivism In Nursing; Contradictions And Conflicts, Journal Of Advance Nursing, 22, 979-984 Rich A (1995) Reflection And Critical Incident Analysis, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 22 (6) 1050-1057 Richardson R (1995) Humpty Dumpty- Reflection And Reflective Nursing Practice, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 21, 1044-1050 Robinson D (1996a) Measuring Psychiatric Nursing Interventions: How Much Care Is Individualised, Nursing Times Research, 1, 1, 13-21 Robinson D (1996b) Observing And Describing Nursing Interactions, Nursing Standard, 13, 8, 34-38 Rogers C (1961) On Becoming A Person, London, Constable Routasalo P (1999) Physical Touch In Nursing Studies: A Literature Review, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, 30, 4, 843-850 Savage J (1990) The Theory And Practice Of The New Nursing, Nursing Times Occasional Paper, 86, (4) 42-45 Scholes J (1996) Therapeutic Use Of Self: How The Critical care Nurse Uses Self To The Patients Therapeutic Benefit, Nursing In Critical Care, 1, 60-66 Schon D (1983) The Reflective Practitioner, London, Temple-Smith Scanlon C & Weir W S (1997) Learning From Practice? Mental Health Nursesââ¬â¢ Perceptions And Experiences Of Clinical Supervision, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, 26, 295-303 Sidley G, Renton J (1996) General Nurseââ¬â¢s Attitudes To Patients Who Self Harm, Nursing Standard, Vol 10, (30) 32-36 Slipp S ââ¬Å"2000) Counter-transference Issues In Psychiatric Treatment, The American Journal Of Psychiatry, Vol 157 (9) 1539 Stuart G W, Sundeen S J (1997) Principles and Practices Of Psychiatric Nursing, 6th Edition, St Louis, Mosby Teasdale K (2001) Clinical Supervision And Support For Nurses, An Evaluation Study, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 33, 2, 216-225 Wilkinson S (1992) Good Communication In Cancer Nursing, Nursing Standard, 7 (9) 35-39 Wong F (1995) Assessing The Level Of Student Reflection From Reflective Journals, Journal Of Advanced Nursing, Vol 22, (1) 48-57 Whitworth R A (1984) Is Your Patient Suicidal? Canadian Nurse, Vol 80, 40-42
Saturday, September 14, 2019
The person i met in Heaven
I stood there, motionless. Shock had taken over my body like a disease. I started shaking; my body going into panic mode. I collapsed, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't move. I just sat, looking, staring. I screamed, and then I was in total darkness. This was the last memory going through my head beforeâ⬠¦ I opened my eyes. As I sat up to see where I was, I felt a cool breeze against my cheeks. I saw that I was lying in the middle of a massive field with trees surrounding it. I knew where I was straight away. I had been thinking about this place for thirty years. I looked around, this place was the same, but, it just had a softer atmosphere then I remembered. The sky seemed to glow. Almost like a dream. Except, this wasn't a dream, this was real. I got up to look around, and then suddenly I heard a voice. ââ¬Å"Well, well, well. You made it then?â⬠the voice laughed. ââ¬Å"Never could've imagined that!â⬠I spun around. ââ¬Å"Katy?â⬠I stood there, staring at her. I had dreamed of this moment since I was a teenager. I had planned every word, every movement, but now, no words ran through my head. Just emotions and memories. ââ¬Å"Are you alright? Looks like you've seen a ghost,â⬠she chuckled. ââ¬Å"God, I crack myself up!â⬠ââ¬Å"Am I dreaming?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nope, you're in Heaven! To be honest, I'm surprised you made it!â⬠The atmosphere cooled, and it felt like old times again. ââ¬Å"What do you mean? I was more angelic than you!â⬠We both laughed, then, silence. It suddenly felt awkward. ââ¬Å"I'm so sorry Katy. I never realised you were so upset with your life. I hated myself; I wanted to see you, to talk to you. I ââ¬â Iâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ My words came out so quickly, rushing out of my mouth. The sky darkened from a sunny blue to a deadly black, and pictures of the past seemed to appear all around us. ââ¬Å"Lauren, shut it! What are you? Forty-Five? And you're still going on about that? It wasn't your fault, okay? Stop blaming yourself. I've been watching over you for thirty years and there are so many things you could've done. You turned down so many opportunities to meet new people andâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ she paused, ââ¬Å"you just had no confidence in yourself. And that's because of me.â⬠She looked as defenceless as she did when her parents died in that car crash when she was fourteen. Being in care had messed her up a bit, and I knew that she had been on anti ââ¬â depressants for a while. But wouldn't anyone be like her in her situation? I had never expected her to kill herself. I sat down next to her, then, finally breaking the silence, I spoke. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠The word shot through the air like a dart. I looked at Katy. ââ¬Å"I know you were upset about your parents butâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I stopped to think about what I was saying. Scared of what her reaction might be if I said the wrong thing. ââ¬Å"You seemed to be managing fineâ⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I don't know. I justâ⬠¦ I felt like I could manage. I stopped taking my tablets, and then everything seemed to go downhill. I thought about what happened quite a lot. I blamed myself for everything. I knew I shouldn't've, but I did. I got more and more depressed, taking everything so seriously. Like, that time when Louise Painsley called me a ââ¬Ëuseless whore', just because I messed up in our music performance?â⬠I nodded, not quite sure of what to say, but before I had time to think, she continued. ââ¬Å"Well, everything just used to hit me like a punch in the stomach. Every little thing. It sounds stupid, but it just built up. I couldn't manage anymore, I just wanted to go. To be with my family. And away fromâ⬠¦ everything.â⬠She looked at me. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry that I didn't speak to you. I just didn't want to bother you with all my worries. I just knew what I wanted to do, so I did it. But deep down you knew that, so why did you mess up your life over it? I just don't get it Loz. You were my best mate. Why would it have been your fault?â⬠I thought about my answer, but to be honest, I had no idea. Finally, I just said everything that I felt. ââ¬Å"All these years I had just thought about you, and the fact that I was having fun when you were gone. It just didn't feel right. I suppose that's okay for the first few months right? But I know I shouldn't've dragged it out. I just didn't feel right. I felt like I was betraying you in some way.â⬠We looked at each other in a knowing way. In a way that meant not to carry on with the conversation. That it was finished and didn't need to be mentioned again. I sighed with relief. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my chest. I grabbed Katy's hand and we walked around the place that I had been thinking about for thirty years. The place where me and Katy spent most our time. A massive field with trees surrounding it. I felt a cool breeze against my cheeks. I felt at peace with myself. This was my heaven, and nobody could ever take it away from me again.
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